The Bans of Wrath
by CarrotTop of Derpibooru
Summary: Just another account of typical day in Derpibooru


The Bans of Wrath

By Carrot Top

Days and hours were constantly being wasted within the basement owned by Derpibooru's king, a young, feisty colt entitled 'TheSmilingPony'. His hooves were persistently occupied by the various affairs of his village, affairs that he attended to by the means of a small electronic contraption that granted him the ability to control the multiple cyborg minions lurking in his land. Each program residing on his device could be accessed and used with a special 'keyboard' of sorts. The layout of said 'keyboard' allowed the user to input various commands by the pushing of a few buttons, each labeled by an alphabetical letter. He could by the flick of his hooves pick a daisy, imprison a thief, or banish an overactive child yelling too loudly. His iron reign over the town rendered him a respected and feared authoritarian that presented no mercy to scoundrels.

A miniscule mare awoke within a light starved room. The humid air forced her to sneeze violently as the rustled the chain restraining her back hoof to the blandly grey wall. The absence of light within the room forced her to retreat into a corridor of fear and uncertainty, a corridor that would render even the most strong minded of ponies dumbfounded. She barely managed to produce a 'hello' before multiple fluorescent light fixtures lodged in the ceiling simultaneously activated, blinding her into further confusion. By the moment her eyes adjusted to the intense flood of visible radiation a large, thin stallion covered in lightly green fur was looming over her helpless form. His eyes pierced hers as his frown gradually opened to reveal various sparkling white teeth. "Where are you?" he inquired the whimpering mass that compromised the fear struck mare that failed to respond. His hoof abruptly pressed painfully against her side. "Where are you?" he repeated viscously while applying more pressure to his hoof. "In some basement?" she suggested in pain. The colt smiled maliciously. "Somewhat correct. You are currently located inside the 'Derpibooru Detriment Defense Dungeon'. We designed this small room to provide us Admins the ability to deal with your kind, _Sidorvich_. We have carefully perused your actions for the past 2 months. Every image, comment that you posted has been meticulously criticized by our board of moderators. Your faves, up and downvotes have all endured our vigil." he explained with a tone of hatred tainting his tongue. The small sobbing prisoner wailed as the harsh reality of her situation dawned upon her. "Do you recall those Derpigate posts? What about the Nazi porn? Did you accidently post them?" hissed the stallion. The small sobbing prisoner wailed as the harsh reality of her situation dawned upon her. "We know of everything you have done and we collectively have concluded that the average nature of your actions can only indicate one thing: you are a Trolling".

The mare responded with a quizzical look. "Yes.. a Trolling, a creature that feeds solely on the angst of others. If you failed to annoy and anger another resident of our town you would starve to death by next week. Every image and comment you have posted was merely another dinner for you" he asserted solemnly and without remorse. He ignored the protests of the mare as he reached for a small black box. "We often deal with infestations of your kind, although.." he whispered while leaning closer to her tear stained face, "the extermination process is quick". On that note he rapidly removed a small yellow magician's wand from the box in a single fluid motion. His waving of the stick resulted in a thick indigo aurora surrounding its tip. He placed the glowing device upon the mare's cutie mark, a zebra hanging from a tree. "Υποφέρουν και εξαφανίζονται, σας άθλια ανόητος!" he monotonously chanted 5 times. His eyebrows scowled at the mare as her cutie mark was assimilated into a blue static blur. "It burns, everything burns!" was the only statement she could produce before an uncaring hoof was forced into her mouth. His chant was repeated for a final time when the aurora fully engulfed every portion of her body except for her tear stained head. Her screams dissipated into mere whimpers and moans. The immense pain of the procedure prevented any coherent words from exiting her mouth. Her tormentor firmly stepped on her chest, impeding her ability to breathe. "Now utter your last assertion, you slithering beast!" growled the snarling colt. Sidorvich managed to weakly release a pitiful cry of "Have mercy! "Before the glow completely consumed and silenced her. "Mercy? You desire _mercy?_ Did I receive mercy when you and your 'buddies' were posting that Derpigate garbage throughout the town? Did you provide tenderness when you glued all that 9/11 porn on our homes?" responded the madly giggling colt. "There is no mercy residing here, dear" he added. On that note he clapped his hooves together and the mare dissolved into air within an instant. For the first time within a week, TheSmilingPony smiled.

Our once joyful community quickly evolved into a state of fear induced blandness after news of Sid's banishment was leaked. We realized that our master's tolerance of tomfoolery had diminished and thus we were forced to refrain from engaging in even the mildest of lewd behaviors. One could no longer expect a mildly lewd comment on a safe image, a meme post, or even a text post complaining about another fandom. We wouldn't dare openly question the wisdom or actions of any moderator, especially after Comrade Carcer's public execution for arguing with WingbeatPony. No sliver of disobedience would be spared the wrath of our emotionless leaders. We had slithered into realm of forced conformity and discontent for all virtual authority.

I retreated into my bathroom to cleanse myself of the various bodily fluids that stained my fur after an orgy in /mlp/. I tested the warmth of the bathwater (which was undoubtly tainted from last year's Pissmiss) and lowered myself in. The soap bubbles popped and tickled my skin while I massaged my back with a loofa. Each circular motion of the sponge sent me into a purring fit. Before I could provide the readers of this fic a clop-worthy scene I was interrupted by a shaking and crash originating from the street adjacent to my home. I quickly donned a pair of latex shorts and burst out my front door. Ignoring the various woops and whistles I rushed towards a bumbling and discordant crowd gathered next to a giant metallic sphere lodged into the fertile ground of an empty lot. I gazed at the few members who I easily recognized. Morfean was trembling in fear, PonyCat smoked a joint of catnip, and VampireRarity had just finished a juice box of blood. A loud groan

The mass of steel groaned as we stood dumbfounded. A hissing produced by pressure escaping from within the steel ball sent us screaming towards the safety of a nearby trench. Another moment of grueling silence passed, and then a hatch was gradually opened near the top of the sphere. An alien green glow cascaded from the new aperture and a mechanical moan was released from within its bowels. The light's flow was interrupted by the appearance of a seemingly grey pony emerging from the opening. His expressionless face stared at individual members of the crowd, as if he were studying our reactions intensely. He raised his body upwards and climbed on top of his ship. His unmarked flank jiggled and pulsated as his grotesque mouth opened and revealed a multitude of rotting and decayed teeth stained by a viscous white liquid. Its blandly grey tongue writhed as he began to address us.

"Citizens of Derpppibooruu" the monstrosity of a colt began with a nasally voice. "I havvveee commmeee tooo aveenngee myyy brethren, Sidorvichh" he hissed. His grotesquely blank figure slid onto the ground. His soulless eyes taunted us with a gaze apathetic towards our comfort. The gray mass of pony trotted towards us like a cat stalks a mouse. We collectively backed and whimpered. Even CottonTales had ceased staring at pornographic images of beef stew. The beast's eyes faded into a red glow as other members of his species emerged from the ship. A flow of the creatures had sent us rushing towards the emergency bunker. We tripped and stumbled over various objects that where abruptly discarded when the ship violated our lands. A few members of our party hid within the various abandoned houses and shops. We hurridly entered the concrete bunker embedded in the ground.

The aged lighting fixture hanging from the mold encrusted ceiling bombarded us with a disappointingly dim yellow glow. We seated ourselves into a few cheap metallic chairs scattered about the room. Our collective voices were silenced once Clover the Clever stood on his soapbox and coughed audibly. "My fair ponies, humans, and byakhees, it has come to my attention that a foreign intrusion has landed in our fair town. And I am aware that many of you are frightened to the brink of urination. Please discard you apprehension; I am assured that with our combined strength, wit, and pervertness these aliens shall be defeated within the hour" the manly mod stated calmly. "And now, TheSmilingPony!" he declared, pointing to Smiling's empty seat. We glanced around the room, confused about Smiling's whereabouts. We searched the front hallway, the fluid coated bathroom, even the air ducts, yet our angered admin was seemingly absent from the bunker. Even the shaking of a Trixie plushie failed to attract him back. Our search was abruptly concluded when the steel door of the bunker was blasted off its hinges.

The fumbling and horrendous pile of flesh, fat, and muscle that were these aliens crashed into an abandoned row of chairs. The trespassers spat a green fluid at our fleeing party. A young Vampire Rarity was struck by this semi-fluid concoction and screamed as it stained her precious snow coloured fur. The paralyzing chemicals that seeped into her skin numbed her lower torso. She collapsed clumsily onto a small purple purse. A hoof full of us including I managed to exit the bunker through the various air ventilation shafts that surrounded the bunker after escaping the capricious crowd. Roboshi and I cuddled tightly inside a brick pillbox bunker as we waited for Morfean to arrive. An explosive ball of fire rose above a hill and blasted us with an orange haze of light. Screams of those entrapped in the bunker tormented us until the flapping of wings entered our range of hearing. Then Carcer, a member of Derpibooru's police force, was dumping buckets of water over the fires that were ignited by the invaders. We discarded our hopes when a dense ball of energy struck him and sent him soaring to the ground. I closed my eyes and prepared my anus.

The night had diminished the availability of light within the town. Only a few fires illuminated the chaos that surged throughout the land. The invaders took advantage of this dark cover and assumed their work underneath the sheet of shadow that plagued us. A few glimpses of passing shadows, the crashes of falling doors, and the screams of unfortunate victims were the only indications that they still occupied the town. Word passed around by survivors stated that these aliens were named 'Background Ponies' by the remaining admins. Their aggression and determination to avenge their fallen comrade impeded our attempts to resist them physically. For every BP we mutilated and broke we found ten of our brethren's cadavers. The few admins alive were cowardly shivering and wetting themselves in a distant castle, and the mods were too busy dying to assist us. We were just about to surrender our bodies to our new overlords when the cries of an alien reached the trench we were trembling in.

A grey, horned stallion triumphantly rested a hoof on the body of a BP who suffered through an old fashioned neck snapping. His mark of an s-shaped mass of fire impaled by a stick shook gracefully as his flame coloured mane shuffled about. "My sweet Celestia's plot, it's TheSmilingPony!" exclaimed SoarinPegasus. We cheered and showered our favorite frowner in hugs and Trixie plushies. "Yes my subjects, I have returned to save your collective asses!" the admin stated cheerfully. The leader's smirk gifted us with a prominent sense of hope. "I was quite busy colouring Clopitor's penis with a marker" he giggled. We returned to the safety of the trench and gazed at our savour charging towards the massive horde of growling and snarling beasts that were advancing towards the admin's command castle.

Shrieks of the agony-inflicted aliens were registered as music by our ears. Their pitiful attempts to combat the battle-lusting authoritarian spectacularly failed and brought us great laughter. Confetti was already allotting us bowls of animal-shaped popcorn mere minutes after the fight's beginning. The wild stallion bucked another party of invaders into the moonlit pond nearby. His war calls (That coincidently were his mating calls) forced another army of bumbling BPs into retreating to the mother ship. Hour after hour passed as the audacity of the colt persisted. Bones broke, anuses were violated, and vegetables were eaten. Each moment passed was another moment of suffering for these indecent intruders. After the third hour of fighting the resistance of the foreigners had diminished to a quivering pulp. Smiling was preparing to remove the femur of a collapsed BP when a metallic growling was heard.

The writhing bulk of metal, gears and pullies intimidated our group to the brink of urination. The steam powered mess abruptly struck a clock tower with a steel tentacle. Smiling merely yawned and inspected his hooves before returning to our trench. Instead of actually attempting to fight the giant mechanical monstrosity the BPs had fabricated and released, Smiling simply inquired Confetti to use the Deus ex Machina button to solve _everything_. A moment of cheap plot devices and overpowered character skills rendered the machine a smoking pile of scrap polluted by motor oil. The deceased members of our gang were revived magically with tears. Unico was lynched from a tree, and this fanfic jumped the shark. Everyone cheered and threw TheSmilingPony into the orgy room. And then we fucked.

The End


End file.
